here i am!

Hello hello!

I'm back from Finland with glorious jetlag and tales to tell! Alas, my camera battery is malfunctioning, and I'm going to have to figure that out before I really begin posting again. In the meantime, I'll be commenting like crazy, and for those of you who know me in real life, I promise to alert you on facebook once I have a new post here.

Don't forget me!! :)

Love,
Isabella

this flight tonight

My mom and I are leaving for the airport in one hour! I am a last-minute packer. Here is what my suitcase currently looks like. Also visible: bits of my rug/curtain/pile of rejected items.

Since I won't be blogging for a couple of weeks, I wanted to do one last post before flying away. But I have to be secretive about it, because my family knows I'm procrastinating! So here are my little secret self-portraits in my travel clothes. 

Hat: from a little shop in Buenos Aires
Dress: the best hand-me-down EVER from Gwen : )
Camisole: Gap
Sweater: Anthropologie
Tights: my mom's
Shoes: Clarks

Sorry for the TERRIBLE photo quality. You're welcome, however, for the Sesame Street band-aid and the lipstick smooch on the mirror. (Click to enlarge)

Here, I am looking smugly at my own digital image in the camera.

I got some more travel reading! The above were both recommended to me by Emily - thanks, friend! I can't wait to read them. I found them both in the used book cellar in our town's bookstore - the only place in this town that hasn't gone completely INSANE.

I also got some new journals. I am a constant journal-er, especially when abroad. 

This one will be for playwriting (the beginnings of my thesis are forming) :

And this one I just thought was lovely:

I have more than begun to tell my story (I have about 40 journals from my lyfe, all stacked up in my closet at home for someone to read one hundred years from now), but whatevz, I like writing.

So I'm bringing ten dresses, four hats, three books and three journals. Probably excessive...but these are the objects I desire. Plus, changing clothes and writing lists/scenes/thoughts are excellent boredom-survival activities - just in case I somehow get bored at my grandmother's house.

All right, bloggie babes, here I go! 

Love,

Isabella

xoxoxoxo

to finland, to finland!

I leave for Finland tomorrow night!! I haven't been back since 2009, so this is very exciting.

When I get back to the states, I'll be sure to post photos of adventures, outfits, etc. For now, here's a list of what I'm looking forward to:

1) Seeing people I haven't seen in a long while. Well, DUH. This is the most important part of the trip but the least fun to read about on a list. My whole extended family, including my 89-year-old grandmother, will be there!

2) Food. Great salmon and potatoes, of course, but I have a huge sweet-tooth, so I get most excited about the candy and fruit! The best chocolate in the world, delicious wild berries, and my favorite pear-flavored ice cream - nowhere else have I found that delicious fake pear taste!

Fazer chocolate

Wild blueberries and cloudberries

Green pear - yum!

3) The midnight sun! We'll be there while the days are the longest. It gets dusky outside, but the sun never really goes down.

4) SAUNA!! Real sauna, wood-heated, dark, hot, steamy (I know what you're giggling at. Really - no funny business.) It's the best way to relax and get really clean.

 

Hitting your back with a bundle of birch leaves and twigs in the sauna supposedly improves circulation. And it smells good!

5) Juhannus - the midsummer holiday. I've never actually gotten to Finland early enough in the year to celebrate it. I can't wait! Bonfires, good food, and staying up late are involved - my kind of holiday.

6) Moomin paraphernalia! If you don't know about the moomins, here, go educate yourself : ) I've had the calendar every year for the past three years (funny that I waited until I was an adult and in college...), and I can't wait to get one for 2012 and see this stuff everywhere! The moomins are just so full of JOY.

7) Helsinki. We'll mostly be in the countryside, but we'll have a few days in the capital, and I can't wait to spot Hel Looks -worthy people and hopefully visit my favorite art museum, Kiasma.

There you have it! I'll post a bit more before I leave, and I promise lots of fun midnight sun pictures when I get back : )

oh, SHORTS! and by the way, BODIES

People who know me well will be surprised to see this outfit, because I haven't really worn shorts in a very long time. This is largely due to the fact that one day, I decided that I just felt too self-conscious about my legs to have them on display like that. Since then, the way I see my body has changed, but my no-shorts habit has not. But yesterday, I acquired two pairs, and I like them a lot!

One interest of mine that I'd really like to explore through this blog is my interest in promoting body positivity. We talk about body image a lot these days, and it seems that almost everyone at least thinks that they know what eating disorders are all about. Still, with the amount of body negativity out there and the amount of time most of us have spent feeling that our bodies are somehow wrong, I think it's extremely important for those of us who believe in the cause to speak up and unpack all of that nasty negative bull so we can eventually get rid of it altogether.

Beliefs and practices that I believe conflict with body positivity:

1) Assigning qualities to numbers. That is, measuring the beauty, strength, and/or overall value of a body in pounds, inches, calories consumed, or clothing size.

2) Putting down other people's bodies. This includes saying things like "I can see her ribs, it's disgusting," and "She has such a pretty face, she'd be beautiful if she lost some weight."

3) Buying into the idea that you can - and should - "transform" your body. The fact is, your body is your body. Even if you lose a bunch of weight or gain a bunch of muscle, there are certain things that will always stay the same. Also, transforming your body is not the same as transforming your life.


4) Following strict rules for what you can/cannot do/wear based on what your body looks like. Thanks to Clinton and Stacy, I'm pretty good at finding clothes that look good on my body - but this doesn't mean that those are always the clothes that I'm the most interested in wearing. I'd much rather spend energy on looking interesting than on looking thin. Also, we often create rules for ourselves that simply don't make sense, like my no shorts rule.

I have been guilty of all of these things. I am hoping to change my ways and to replace these negative beliefs and practices with worthwhile, positive, helpful thoughts and actions. To anyone who is interested in doing the same, or has questions/comments/points of debate for me, please let me know! I am always up for discussing body image and related issues.

One thing I wish everyone could agree on: Feeling good about yourself and others is only a good thing. It is not "self-indulgent" or "delusional" to like yourself and to appreciate your body. Criticizing yourself and feeling badly toward your body won't help you look better or "succeed." AGH. It drives me up the wall when people (myself included) think/announce, "But if I stop freaking out about being fat, I'll get fatter!" No. Just, no.

AND OH HEY CHECK THIS OUT:
http://www.youtube.com/user/ProjectLifesize
I have been hooked on this channel for over a year, and it has helped transform the way I think about all of this! It's not all about bodies, but body positivity was at the root of its creation, and they have some extremely helpful/interesting/funny/heartfelt things to say.

Hat: on clearance at Urban Outfitters
Shirt: Gap
Belt: Target
Shorts: J. Crew

Photo Cred: Lil Sis. Thanks : )

subconscious collage

Imagery from recent dreams:

default mode

Outfit 6/9/2011

I changed my clothes about eight times this morning, which is easy when it's just a dress. I should have known that I would end up with this one - it's been my go-to since I got it in 2007. It was my "I'm ready to be seventeen now"-dress, but it makes a pretty good "I'm 21, la-di-da"-dress.

Headband: Anthropologie

Dress: Necessary Objects

Shoes: Clarks

I love summer, but I miss autumn clothes-wise. I haven't had an autumn since 2009 because I got Argentina's winter and spring instead of Fall 2010 - a worthwhile sacrifice, but I was surprised by how much I missed it! Today's outfit has some autumnal vibes.

The headband is a good substitute for my beloved Fall berets!

I'm on a nail-painting kick. Today they're dark plum - an attempt to have some edge.

Happy Summer!

dressing between the lines

 Outfit 6/7/2011


Here's new-to-me vintage dress number two. I wore it out to lunch with my wonderful friend Caroline whom I haven't seen in far too long. With people going abroad, graduating, and moving around, the time that I go without seeing certain people has grown by a lot, which is sad and a little unsettling. It's reassuring, however, that the time I can go without seeing someone and still have a great time when I next see them seems to be increasing.

I recruited my mom to photograph me - blog progress! She directed as well, resulting in pictures of me smelling flowers (left. Not actually smelling flowers) and other poses not featured in this post.

It's hard to explain what I love about this dress. Something about it just feels oddly empowering. It's comfy and not pretty per se, but it's unique (homemade!) and weird in an understated way. A timeless, carefree summer dress with a touch of revolution.

 Sunglasses: Target

Watch: My mom's

Dress: handmade vintage circa 1970, via GoGo Vintage

Belt: Anthropologie

Shoes: thrifted Clarks

With several long plane rides coming up, I see a lot of reading in my near future. I really want to read something life-changing. Any suggestions?? Caroline laughed as I sorted through every shelf of fiction at the bookstore today, trying to guess by the covers which books had the most potential to blow my mind. I've always had this bad habit of abandoning books if they don't seem worth my time, but now it seems to be transforming into a worse habit of refusing to abandon a book even if it gets pretty terrible.

Below is the short novel I bought today, A Short History of Women by Kate Walbert. So far I haven't gotten past the back cover, but I have a good feeling. I'm half-way through Her Fearful Symmetry, which I've been reading on and off for a while. I fell in love with the characters at the beginning, but now some of them are starting to really annoy me. That's John Lennon poking his head out from between the pages, by the way.

I've got less than a week before I'm Finland bound. Until then, I'll be busy procrastinating and letting my freak flag fly. 

on the right track, baby

Outfit 6/6/2011

I got my order from GoGo Vintage in the mail today!

I'm really pleased and can't wait to go around feeling summery and creative in them in the months to come : )

I especially love the red one, prompting my second ever outfit post. I was once again my own photographer - balancing the camera, setting the self-timer, and making a mad dash to pose - but these came out sort of interesting.

This dress helps me accomplish some of my simpler goals in life: to be bold, to wear red often, and to always have pockets (which you can see floating around in there like mystery organs in the x-ray-like photos.)

The dresses came in a brown paper package tied up with string (clearly a girl after my own heart). As always, I put them on right away and paraded around the house in them (not both at once. That would be pushing it). When my dad saw the red one, he said, "Didn't you used to have a dress like that?" I realized that he was remembering a dress of my mom's from childhood which I wore at my grandmother's house when I was 2 1/2.

This was taken July 12th, 1992 at my grandmother's house in Finland:

It seems that I've finally come full circle, even with my hair!

I debuted the dress in a walk around the neighborhood with my dad. We laughed about how unusual I must look to our traditional suburban neighbors. "People are going to say, 'Oh look, it's Jackie Kennedy!'" He said. I said, "Yeah, or a crazy person," but walked out of the house anyway. It's funny how I wouldn't think twice about wearing an outfit like this at Vassar or in NYC or Helsinki, but in Wellesley it really felt like a transgression!

(Extra-crazy and happy in my mom's sunhat)

I belted the dress with the sash from the other new-to-me dress, which I'll wear soon and attempt to take pictures of!

check out this preposterous helsinki love connection.

Two separate looks from the coveted Hel-Looks.com, masterfully connected by super-creeper me:

Matti, May 2010, and Maria, May 2011.

TOO REAL.

(click to enlarge - you know you want to)

Maybe if we hug, your flower and my mermaid will merge together into one beautiful, magical brooch with the power to turn anyone into a timid, bowl-cutted, black-wearing hipster (??) with allegedly poor eyesight and a subtly proud grin.

Hel Looks is a street style blog from Helsinki, Finland. Look at it! It will provide you with hours - nay, months and years of JOY. It will not provide you with an accurate sense of what 99% of Finnish people look and dress like, and it might make you question humanity a little bit, or at least make you gag. But still, JOY. Joyous gagging at the ridiculous, gag-tastic clothing. Go! Go! Go!

hey dictionary, do i look okay?

Here is my new haircut, à la Photobooth:

I haven't had it this short since age 13 or so. As you can tell from the picture, I am pleased with it! But as I drove away from the salon in my family's mini-van, I started to get an uneasy feeling...something about my new haircut, the car, the cardigan I was wearing...a sinking feeling. DO I LOOK LIKE A SOCCER MOM??

I decided to turn to the wisdom of urbandictionary.com:

"Soccer mom hair - n. Short, easily managed, but completely unfeminine and unflattering haircut worn by overweight, middle-aged women with 2.6 children who spend more than 40 hours per week obsessively focused on their precious children's extra-curricular activities."

Okay. So far, I'm good.

"The often overly highlighted cut is typically parted in the center or to one side, with longish bangs, no hair products..."

Uh-oh.

"...and is distinguished from more stylish and current short hairdos by its roots in 70's and 80's fashion, re-hashing the 'dorothy hamill' and 'geraldine ferraro' styles..."

(Dorothy Hamill)

(Geraldine Ferraro)

"...and often worn with 'mom jeans,' (also rooted in 80's style - high waisted with baggy ass and peg leg), baggy sweatshirts and white sneakers."

Nope.

In conclusion: Whatever. I look good. Also, I'm reading some more of these urbandictionary definitions (soccer mom, mom jeans, baseball dad [apparently "soccer dads" don't exist]) and most of them are categorically offensive. Go figure. All the more reason for me to stand by my hair.

Polina Doll

This one requires an explanation!

I spent my Fall semester of last year in Argentina. Since it's on the other side of the planet, their seasons are the opposite of what we have in the U.S.; as such, my semester started in mid-July. I decided to spend my shortened summer break hanging out with friends and family and preparing for the five months I'd soon be spending in South America. This was all well and good, but come July I started feeling extremely unproductive, which started driving me insane. So I came up with a little project for myself: I made Polina Doll.

I had just started following a bunch of fashion blogs, and I was intrigued (and frankly quite disturbed) by how doll-like some of the bloggers presented themselves to be, especially on sites like LOOKBOOK. As a protest to my troubling urge to lose 40 pounds and begin wearing rompers and butt-grazing ruffles, I sought out blogs that were truer to my style, and I created a doll who can wear anything.

Polina and all of her clothes are hand-sewn by me out of cloth scraps from my collection at home. This was all last July.

Reversible tunic, made from a pillowcase.

Back detail:

Party dress with a bubble hem.

Back detail:

Maybe I'll make something new for her before I take off for my next trip. It's a great hobby for sitting outside in the sun or inside half-watching TV!