Here is my new haircut, à la Photobooth:
I haven't had it this short since age 13 or so. As you can tell from the picture, I am pleased with it! But as I drove away from the salon in my family's mini-van, I started to get an uneasy feeling...something about my new haircut, the car, the cardigan I was wearing...a sinking feeling. DO I LOOK LIKE A SOCCER MOM??
"Soccer mom hair - n. Short, easily managed, but completely unfeminine and unflattering haircut worn by overweight, middle-aged women with 2.6 children who spend more than 40 hours per week obsessively focused on their precious children's extra-curricular activities."
Okay. So far, I'm good.
"The often overly highlighted cut is typically parted in the center or to one side, with longish bangs, no hair products..."
Uh-oh.
"...and is distinguished from more stylish and current short hairdos by its roots in 70's and 80's fashion, re-hashing the 'dorothy hamill' and 'geraldine ferraro' styles..."
"...and often worn with 'mom jeans,' (also rooted in 80's style - high waisted with baggy ass and peg leg), baggy sweatshirts and white sneakers."
Nope.
In conclusion: Whatever. I look good. Also, I'm reading some more of these urbandictionary definitions (soccer mom, mom jeans, baseball dad [apparently "soccer dads" don't exist]) and most of them are categorically offensive. Go figure. All the more reason for me to stand by my hair.
